Top 5: El Prado

I'd have to say that Art History with Mrs. Livengood was arguably my favorite class in high school, and I wish all the things that I'd learned during that semester were more fresh in my mind after spending several hours in one of the world's largest art galleries last week. Madrid's El Prado is by far one of the most incredible museums I've been to in a while. Here are some of my favorites from my visit, along with my thoughts on each of them:

El Salvador Bendiciendo / The Benevolent Savior (Zurbarán)

Okay, really though? Can we all just take a look at this guy? This is NOT Jesus. This is a creepy, dorky, wimpy stand in. I don't know about y'all, but this guy looks more like the guy I buy my slushies and lottery tickets from at the gas station than the savior of all humanity. Just sayin'. And check out that skank 'stache! I like to think of my Jesus as having an EPIC beard, not some pedophile peach fuzz. Try again, Zurbarán.

Doña Juana la Loca / Queen Joanna the Mad (Ribera)

Taking up an entire gallery wall, the massive painting depicts Doña Juana holding vigil over the casket of her late husband, Philip the Handsome. It makes you wonder just how handsome her Philip was, and how she got her nickname as a Negative Nancy. Seriously, though, one of the best depictions of human emotion I've ever seen.

Sacrificio a Baco / Sacrifice to Bacchus (Michel-Ange Houasse)

More than anything, I'd like to just call attention to the vomiting baby in the foreground. I've never seen a hungover baby before, but if I did, I'm sure that this interpretation would be pretty spot-on. Props, Houasse.

Vuelo de Brujos / Flight of the Witches (de Goya)

No real explanation, I'm just a fan. Except to say that it's probably a safe bet that that guy at the bottom of the frame is having a worse day than you are.

Queen Maria Luisa on Horseback (de Goya)

How much of a badass is she? After staring at portraits of elaborately dressed women with umbrellas and children, Queen Maria Luisa pretty much jumps out of the frame. She's on horseback wearing a uniform for crying out loud. I'd like to have known her husband and find out who wore the pants in that relationship.