Remember Miss Mae who served you your food every day grades K-12 with a smile on her face and a lovely, "How are you today, sweetie?" In Spain, not so. Lunch Lady Land? False. Forget it. These ladies hate us. I'm really, really not kidding. "Gracias" and "Por favor"? Don't even say it. They'll just hate you more. What's that you say? You're a Spanish student? Oh, never mind then! In that case, I'll love you forever and sneak you extra food and drinks. But don't tell those stupid American students. They dress funny and are too polite.
2.) That asshole who works at the train station
You see me approach your ticket booth, and you laugh. "Dublín?" You say. "Quieres ir a Dublín!?" You laugh some more. You tell the guys behind you in the language you think I can't understand. "Hey fellas, these little American kids want to go to Dublín! Can you believe that!? What a joke!" They laugh. You smirk. I stab the mole on your forehead with my eyes. Why can't you just sell me the ticket?
3.) In America, we clean up after our dogs.
You know those days when you just can't wait to step in a steaming hot pile of dog poo left for you by that massive German Shepherd just a few paces up the road? Yeah, me either. The sidewalks may be made of pretty, shiny marble, but beware: land-mines are abundant and do NOT discriminate between worker boots and Tory Burch flats.
4.) Why don't you people believe in ice?
Ice + water = ice water. Please. Pleaaaaase.
5.) Vegetarian ≠ Meatless
I can see the conversation now. "Hey, Javí, we can still label this 'vegetarian' even if we hid a layer of ham underneath the cheese, right?" "Certainly," Javí replies. "Ham Sandwiches, Pepperoni Pizzas, Pastas, Paellas... it's all the same, really."
*But really though. Spain is great. (Despite aforementioned characteristics).
miss mae!! haha however, judy (as in "Judy's chicken casserole") was my favorite.
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